Assertiveness: The Strength in Offending Respectfully

Assertiveness: The Strength in Offending Respectfully
Photo by Hans Veth / Unsplash

In the adult world, interpersonal communication requires sincerity and tranquility. Often, even in the face of annoying individuals or situations, we choose to endure. However, there's a common question: why tolerate someone you dislike?

Truly mature individuals understand that it's impossible to please everyone. Earning respect is important, but it is not necessary to give it to everyone. After many experiences and interactions, I've learned a significant truth: as a person, don't fear offending others; sometimes, you must assert yourself!
We are not born to compromise. The essence of life lies beyond relentless compromise and tolerance. Everyone is unique, so why resort to obsequiousness? For instance, if you and a friend work at the same company, and you're more capable than him, you may outcompete him for a promotion. Your friend might be unhappy, regardless of any placating measures you take. It's important to be mentally prepared for such reactions from others.

As individuals, we must understand that some actions warrant bold execution, even if they risk offending people. Some individuals might take offense no matter how you treat them. From naive ignorance to harsh reality, life teaches us that we should carry kindness in our hearts and strength in our demeanor.

As Ma De wisely stated, "You should not harm people, but you must carry the capability to do so." We should all practice the etiquette of reciprocating respect, but also have the courage to counteract offense. It is good to be kind and pure, but a bit of sharpness can make life more interesting.

Learning to say "no" demonstrates responsibility towards yourself. Psychologically, there is a personality type termed "pleaser." Such individuals often exhibit selfless behavior to avoid disappointing others or deflect blame. They often take on the repercussions of others' mistakes, which isn't necessarily beneficial. It's kind to not embarrass others, but causing yourself distress in the process is self-defeating.

The fable "The Farmer and the Snake" teaches us that not everyone reciprocates kindness, and not everyone understands your goodwill. People can be deceptive, so learning to say "no" is crucial. Setting boundaries discourages others from taking undue advantage.

A wise person knows when to assert themselves. This approach helps us find the best way to communicate and form genuine friendships. Refusing to tolerate wrongful acts is a form of personal cultivation and the highest level of self-responsibility.

Being kind to others means not causing discomfort to others or yourself. At times, "asserting oneself" represents your principles, safeguards your dignity, and signifies the fundamental right to respect in interpersonal communication.

A young professional once shared her experience of trying to please everyone when she started her job. She accepted every request, fearing to offend anyone. Eventually, she ended up with additional trivial tasks, which she initially couldn't refuse, gradually became her "responsibility". This apparent good nature was, in fact, a result of her inner helplessness.

Life is such that if you fear offending others, they might not reciprocate the sentiment. Kindness shouldn't only focus on others; listen to your heart first. If something makes you uncomfortable, assertively refuse. It might lead to temporary disappointment or anger from the other party, but it spares you unnecessary troubles.

In conclusion, individuals should possess the ability to accept praise and the courage to confront wrongdoers. Cover your kindness with a shield of assertiveness to gain heartfelt respect and admiration. Life is short and often demanding. Why burden yourself with unnecessary discomfort? Assert yourself when necessary and don't fear offending people. Learn to protect yourself. The best defense against rejection is to learn to refuse respectfully. When you master this, your kindness gains greater significance.

May you soon learn to refuse with a smile!